The Location Independent Adulting StruggleThe struggle is real, my friends!
When Adulting Blocks Abundance
When Adulting Blocks Abundance
What happens when you’ve managed to avoid most traditional “adulting” and you’re in your early 40s? What’s the mental impact of this reality and how does it hinder abundance?
Before I tear myself a new one, let me preface this self-beratement with the following…while I may get a D+ in adulting, I get an A++ in living. Up until age 40, I based my life on experiences, not accumulating things. I did step up my adulting game to return to university at age 30, but other than that, I kept my grade at the D level.
I’ve traveled the world. I’ve documented stories in remote lands that most people can’t even wrap their brains around. I purchase one-way airline tickets when I need to “get away” and I refuse to use an itinerary. I’ve lived a life most people envy, or put on their retirement list or bucket list. Fuck that, life is short. Live it.
- I’ve never owned a house.
- I’ve never found a spouse.
- I‘ve never owned a car. (that’s changed since I wrote this)
- I will not surrender to social norms– at least so far.
My retirement plan? To do lapidary, have a crystal shop with a tiny little studio in the back. Oh– and keep traveling the world.
So, all of that said, let’s rip thyself a new one, shall we?
For the past 3 years, I’ve allowed my lack of will to “adult” to block my abundance. Straight up. Several years ago, I set up a completely legal (and sometimes complex) location independent nexus with a legal domicile in one state and a location independent business structure in another state.
[There are quite a few reasons I’ve stayed in the town I’m currently preparing to leave (like in 3 days), but we’ll skip the self-loathing and stay on point.]
There’s one massive problem though. My vehicle. The problem with driving an old vehicle in a place you can’t stand living in is that at the end of the day, you’re stuck. My mechanic, Goddess love him, is a brilliant Nissan whisperer who loves my truck almost as much as I do. I’m not taking her far from him. I’ve always driven old vehicles (I have a soft spot for em) and I’ve been broken down on the side of the road more than I care to admit. I’m kinda done with that scenario. I have AAA premium and Lil’ Red stays within towing range of the Nissan Whisperer.
One of my definitions of abundance is freedom. Freedom to move, to travel and to make my day my own. But by staying closed off from the world for so many years, living in a town that is shitty as fuck (minus the gorgeous beach down the road and my dear friends here) I’ve cornered myself into a place of inaction.
My lack of adulting to this point has placed me in the uncomfortable position of needing to buy a car and having to play by those social norms I’ve been avoiding. Getting a loan, making myself look a certain way on paper. It’s not a false identity– but it’s not who I am.
Who I am is a nomad. I have no permanent address and no “paperwork”. I have credit, but it’s not great– nor is it awful. It just is. My credit is a number that society places on me and shows my value to the rest of society. It harbors mistakes of my past and reflects my current state of reluctant stability. It shows that I buckled last year and got a J.O.B. and it shows that I went a little MIA a few years back on my student loans. Fixed now, but again, nothing abundant about any of that bullshit.
I’m a business woman with her heart (and residency + business) located in the West. I’m a beach bum who can’t leave the ocean unless she’s headed to the mountains. So, while I can’t physically be in my Rockies all the time, my attachments to society can be. I legally established a completely nomadic existence a few years back and I fight hard to keep it that way.
But here’s the thing, on the East Coast, which is where I find myself because the people I love won’t move West, that nomadic life is viewed as a liability. Not only that, it FEELS like one. I don’t fit in here and I never will. But neither does my non-adulting ass when it comes to participating in the capitalistic game of buying my freedom.
And make no mistake about it, my freedom is going to be purchased through a dealership and possibly with a little help from Bob the Banker. He works for a beast of a bank, but he’s such a nice guy and has helped me muddle through “adulting” with my businesses for years.
And at this point, my proclivity for non-conformity and refusal to adult very well is blocking my abundance. And this entire process is forcing me to take a long hard look at my relationship with money– through the lens of car buying.
It’s a fascinating (and humbling) experience for sure. Purchasing a car and financing the damn thing flies against many of my core beliefs and it’s difficult to process at times. I know it seems silly to place such a lens on something that most people do without thinking twice, but the struggle is real!!!
I have to make peace with giving the bank my ass for the next 48-62 months. I have to make peace with explaining myself to potential financiers as I try to find the best deal. I have to make peace with the fact that buying a car does tie me to a job I hate and/or making steady client income each month and focusing on my business in a different way. Instead of having the flexibility to play with different businesses or revenue streams, I must focus on the ones that work the best. Whether I enjoy them or not.
That places pressure on my core definition of abundance– freedom. And it’s ironic because that core definition is also the reason I’m going through this in the first place.
[Author’s note— I’m editing this 3 months later for publication and I DID find the right car, the perfect dealer and they fought the bank on my behalf when my “lack of physical address” almost caused the whole thing to collapse. You rock, Financier to Remain Nameless! I threw that tiny dealership for a loop and they responded with humor and action. It will be a great movie scene one day!
As you’ll see here on this blog, and on my insta: @nomadiccrystals, my hound dog and I are mobile and we adulted just enough to make it happen. And while I fought hard to maintain my location independent nexus through this whole process, it was truly eye-opening at how society (and participating in the normal capitalistic large-consumption activities) really forces one to claim a permanent location. I know most people never question such a basic thing, but there’s an entire population of us location independent people— living in RVs, sailboats, or simply wandering as digital nomads— who make a conscious decision NOT to have a permanent location.
It would be lovely if society would loosen the reigns a bit and change our definitions and constraints for alternative living.]
Curated healing goodness
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